And it's been 5 months to the day since Brodie left. And they are probably celebrating their anniversary tonight. Of course, I should try not to think like this. It does me no good. I have lost track of the date several few times already because I have been too afraid to check the calendar.
The Tokyo trip did more damage than good. We went there together last time, and oh how I missed him so dearly this time around, it didn't help my travel companion was a complete idiot (I will save that for the next vent) and I could not stand him. It's true what they say about about people taking granted what they have until it's gone.
Saw so many things in MaruiOne that he would have liked and I was tempted to buy them for him; then a little voice reminded me that Brodie would not accept them as long as he was with Rimi. I spent a total of 10 minutes at Akiba, saw too many things that conjured up memories of the last trip. When I was visiting the temples at Asakusa I slipped a 100,00 yen note into one of the 'donate and pray' bins, though regret pretty much kicked in instantly - those are Rimi's gods not mine. >.>
I don't want to go back to work, I have trouble keeping food down, so by lunch rush I am so weak and dizzy from having no food in my belly. I can't cry at home without been made fun of. So I cry whilst I bake bread before the shop is open and I cry on buses on the way home. I am too afraid to get help, because Brodie would just call me a drama queen and tell me that people break up all the time and why shouldn't I be ok?
I want to sleep and not wake up.
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pect's journal
